The Worst Kind of Way
by secretkitkat
Summary: Renesmee's life is hard enough with her spontaneous growth, overprotective parents, and pain-in-the-butt best friend/crush. But when a move to New Hampshire reveals a school for those part of the supernatural world, Ness and Jacob find themselves in the middle of a storm that could tear apart the very fabric of humanity. Some humor, some fluff, some drama. Post BD.


The title for this fic is taken from the Fall Out Boy song Just One Yesterday. It would mean the world to me if you guys reviewed (and it would also encourage me to update faster)! :)

~0~

"Jacob." My father's voice pierces the gray morning. I hardly even register it until the very warm body I'm curled against disappears.

"Jacob!"

Whoops.

First rule of being a halfling with an overprotective vampire father: do not let him catch you half-naked and sleeping next to your best friend. Especially if your best friend happens to be a rather attractive and solidly built wolf boy.

"JACOB!"

Because then you might find yourself staggering into your front yard at six in the morning, clothed in a ratty t-shirt and pair of cute panties, trying to keep your overprotective father from ripping out the throat of aforementioned attractive wolf boy.

"Dad," I say, rubbing my eyes and yawning. This is a common enough occurrence that it doesn't even bother me anymore. Jacob's darting behind every piece of shrubbery he can find, Dad is pelting after him, and the two succeed in nothing but looking like a Scooby Doo chase scene.

"Dad," I say again. "Nothing happened. It was just hot and I wanted to cuddle and we were both sleepy. That's all."

Dad glances between me and Jacob. His hair is disheveled and his shirt is rumpled like he's been asleep, but I know enough to realize what he and Mom get up to in the middle of the night. (Gross.)

"Will you please listen to me, Dad?"

He blows a strand of bronze hair out of his face. "The two of you - you can - you're not - you are too young for this and that's final."

"Daddy." I draw myself to my full height. Mom promised to shield me constantly a while back so I could have privacy, because a father having access to all of his daughter's thoughts is a little skeevy. All I can do is pray fervently that she's shielding me right now, so he doesn't know what I'm about to say.

I take a deep breath. "I am a lesbian."

Well, that gets both of them to stop dead. Awesome. I should have used that one way before now.

"You. I. What?" Dad blinks.

"I am a lesbian. I want to have sex with girls. I have never ridden Jacob's dick."

His mouth opens and closes soundlessly. Jacob has gotten over his shock and is now doubled over in laughter, making these obnoxious wheezing and snorting noises. They're the only sounds aside from the chirping of birds and the slight rustle of the breeze.

I race across the yard and leap onto his back with the intent of tagging along for a ride. Instead he falls forward and sprawls out on the ground, sending me tumbling over his shoulders.

"Warn a guy, would ya, Ness?" he says.

I roll onto my stomach, giggling, dirt and wet leaves caked into my hair. "Well, maybe if you could get a hold of yourself then you would have noticed I was coming!"

Dad's still staring at me. I think he might be catatonic. This is a little concerning.

Oh well. Mom will take care of it.

"Quick!" I hop onto Jacob's back as he stands up, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. "Away, noble steed! Before he recovers!"

And we're off.

~0~

One piggyback ride and crossed territory later, we're settling down in Jacob's garage. He disappears for a second and then comes back with a pair of his oil-stained jeans and a belt. When I grimace, he reaches to brush some of the dirt out of my hair. "Just in case my dad's awake."

I step into the jeans. It feels a little like stepping into a garbage bag. They billow around me, and the bottoms of the pant legs trail about a foot behind like some kind of strange train.

I pull the jeans up and over my shirt, all the way to my armpits, so that my feet will poke out. Then I cinch the belt just above my breasts and wrinkle my nose at Jake. "Look at this fashion statement. I am a trendsetter."

He lets out another one of those snorting laughs, pulling me flush against his chest. "I don't even know what to do with you," he says, kissing the top of my head.

"Adore me. Lavish me with attention. Never let me want for anything." I swoon dramatically, pleased when he catches me. "Worship the ground I walk on."

"Not a chance, you spoiled brat." He kisses my forehead. "You want to help me with the car?"

Jake's spent the last six months fixing up this old Mustang. By "fixing up" I mean he's mostly rebuilt the whole thing from scratch. Any normal car dealer would have looked at it and said, "That is a hunk of metal that can go right to the scrapyard."

Not Jake.

"Yeah, definitely!" I grab a rag and go to work wiping off the hood.

Jake rolls himself under the car, tinkering with a wrench and the suspension. The garage is one of my favorite places - I've come to associate the smell of oil and metal with Jake.

It's a few minutes before he speaks again, his voice floating up from the concrete. "Did you mean what you said earlier?"

"Huh?"

"I mean" - A loud clanging sound interrupts him. "OW! DAMMIT!" He rolls himself out and sits up, rubbing his forehead. I press my hands against his shoulders and hop up to kiss it better. "The whole lesbian thing."

"You wish." I waggle my fingers at him. "If I was into girls, you would not get to watch anything, so do not pull any of that perverted bullshit on me. Also I am pretty sure I exclusively like guys, but I am open to experimentation. And it will not hurt Dad to think I'm into women. At least for a little while."

I wipe my hands with the rag and dry them off on the jeans (which are still hooked under my armpits in the Fashion Statement of the Year).

"So does that mean you've got any guys you're looking at?"

"Channing Tatum," I say absently. "We are meant to be."

He snorts. "I'm serious."

"Jake, I don't know any guys."

"Well, you know all the dudes on the rez, I mean, there are some pretty hunky-lookin' fellas running around all wolfy with their shirts off" -

"Jake." Is he really this oblivious. Really. "First of all, it sounds like _you're _chasing after some hunky guys on the rez. Second, I am not stripping down to undies and lying on you just because I want to snuggle, okay."

"Oh. I. Oh." That shuts him up. He flushes from his copper cheekbones to the tips of his ears. "Oh. That is. A thing. Okay. I."

"Jake." I put down the rag. It's not often I see him at a loss for words, and a sudden anxiety sweeps through me. My throat and chest both constrict. Was that too forward? Guys only do that thing where they totally freak out in the movies, right? He is not about to up and leave?

Since I can't find the right sentences, I reach up to lay my fingers against his cheek, letting a crackle of anxiety pass through our skin. He immediately shakes his head and wraps his arms around my waist. "No, hey, I'm not upset, I just. We gotta. We gotta have a talk, Ness."

I frown. "Oh no. This sounds serious."

"It's not a bad talk or anything! It's just. A thing I did not realize was going to happen today. I'm not, uh, prepared. Shit. Uh."

"Jake."

"Let's go inside, okay?"

I stretch my other hand up to his shoulder. "Carry me?"

He rolls his eyes but scoops me up, letting me tuck my head against his shoulder as he carries me to his bedroom.

I press my hand to his cheek again as we sprawl across his bed, since a thought connection is faster than spoken word._ Is this because of the undies thing? Because if it is weird now, I can practice my stripper routines elsewhere -_

"Ness. Shh." He gently takes my wrist and pulls my fingertips away.

"What is it?"

He closes his eyes. "I imprinted on you," he says, the breath leaving him in a rush, as though he's worried otherwise the words will never leave his lips.

I blink.

"You what?"

"I imprinted on you."

"Oh." Now it's my turn to be at a loss for words, rolling onto my back and staring at the ceiling. My mind goes blank. "Hang on. I don't really know how to react to that? I need a second to process."

"Okay."

My brain has a lot of room to mull things over in very short periods of time, but that doesn't mean it's easy for me to compute this new information. I can practically feel neurons and synapses working to piece together the puzzle, and as I turn over childhood memories of Jacob combined with the way he's looking at me now -

"In retrospect, I probably should have figured that out earlier," I say.

A slight smile touches his lips. He slides his hand into mine. "You're not freaking out? Running away screaming?"

"Well. I don't think you'd be alive right now if you'd been, uh, I mean. When I was a kid."

"Oh my god no it wasn't like that why does everybody think it's like that." Jake rolls over and buries his face into his pillow.

"I was just saying I don't think it was like that!" I flop on top of him and press a kiss to his neck. He groans.

"Ness, see, the thing is..." He raises his face from the pillow. "The problem is that it is like that now. And you are way too young. Way way way too young. Way too young. Holy shit. So when I say we need to nix the half-naked cuddles, it is not out of a lack of interest in you. It is out of_ too much_ interest in you."

"So why were you letting half-naked cuddles be a thing before?"

"Because I figured it was innocent on your part!" He pinches the bridge of his nose. "I didn't think you felt like that about me."

"I hate to break it to you, but I use the internet. My innocence is squandered. And besides..." I sit on the small of his back, running my fingers through his hair, scritching lightly at his scalp like he's in wolf form. "Jake, just because I want to have sex with you does not mean I am some kind of depraved Satanic worshiper. Please do not turn into my father."

He flips over, nearly dislodging me, then leans up and pulls me down on top of him. Our torsos press together, and I can feel our hearts beating in unison, too fast for humanity. I want to kiss him. His lips are inches from mine, parted and slightly chapped, and his skin smells like home, and this is the most natural thing in the world, and I want to kiss him.

I lean down. The tips of our noses brush together.

"Ness." He breathes my name like a prayer. "We can't."

"No sex," I breathe back. "Promise. But..." I can feel his soft breath against my open mouth. "Can we please try just this one thing?"

He nods a fraction of an inch, closing his eyes and cupping the back of my neck, and the warmest sense of contentment washes over me.

I bridge the last few millimeters between us.


End file.
